Have you ever just taken some time (as an adult) to sit and listen to your mom share stories from when she was a child? I decided to call my mom up the other day to ask her some questions about her childhood and this is one of the many memories she shared with me…
I remember one day all we had in the house to eat was flour, so my mom mixed it with water and heated it up over the stove. She served it to us and told us to pretend like it was mashed potatoes. There were eight of us (6 children all together), and all we had was flour. I don’t know how my grandma knew to bring us food, because we lived out in the country and we didn’t have a phone at the time, but she knew. I think she just prayed and God told her. She showed up at our house with bags of groceries for us.”
It’s amazing what my mother has been through! What’s even more amazing, though, is that out of the ashes of a harsh, hostile environment filled with hunger and abuse came the most beautiful, gracious, patient, and loving person you’ll ever meet. . . my mother, Rose Crosariol.
(picture above of me on my mom’s lap with my two brothers)
My mom gave me permission to share her story on this blog. I respect her honesty and transparency so much. When we are honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others, and when we are honest with others, we can grow and learn from each other. With Mother’s Day coming up this Sunday, I thought now would be a perfect time to share a little of her inspirational story and a few special things I have learned from her over the years.
Off to a rocky start.
My mother was just two years old when her dad died of pneumonia. Her mother found a new husband not too long after that. The new husband had an alcohol problem that made him very angry most of the time. He was destructive and abusive, especially with her mother. Her family didn’t have much money for food since the little money they did have went toward the alcohol for her step-dad. Her step-dad had a hard time keeping a job because of his drinking problem, so they had to move around a lot, with each living environment being worse than the one before it.
Spoiled milk and pencil erasers.
My mom told of a time when she was served cereal with spoiled milk for breakfast. The problem was that the refrigerator didn’t close all the way, and her parents couldn’t afford to fix it, so they would push a chair up to the fridge to shut it or tie the fridge with string. In spite of these “solutions” the fridge still didn’t close all the way so the food would spoil.
My mom remembers eating the eraser off of her pencil on the way to school one day because she was so hungry. Some girls asked her why she was eating the eraser and she told them it was because she was hungry. This is going to sound ridiculous but those girls stole her lunch money! When she told her mom about what the girls did the advice she was given was to, “turn the other cheek.” At a young age, my mom became an easy target for bullying. Not once, but many times. It hurts my heart to hear about the way my mother was treated when she was a child. These are just a handful of memories out of many like them.
A turning point for my mom.
My mom became a Christian at the age of 11 at an evangelist gathering. For years before that, though, she recalls kneeling down at the couch in her grandmother’s living room and praying and feeling peaceful as they prayed. Her grandmother’s house was a safe-haven from the rest of the world that was scary and dark. Her grandmother was smart with her money, always had good food in her house, and managed to take care of herself and her things even after her husband left her for another woman. My great-grandma took my mom to church and to Vacation Bible School when she was young. After my mom accepted Jesus into her heart and prayed for God to forgive her for her sins, she felt like a huge burden had been lifted, and she felt very happy and peaceful even though her circumstances at home didn’t change. God began to heal my mother’s heart as she accepted His forgiveness and love. She knew that God loved her and He was her heavenly father, and she found comfort in that. Her earthly father was not a good father, but her heavenly father was and she began to find her identity in Him. She began reading her Bible and praying on her own and she enjoyed singing the songs she learned at church.
(picture above of my mom and dad with their grandchildren)
A firm place to stand.
Psalm 40:2 says, “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”
My mother is very strong in her faith. God has given her a “firm place to stand.” When the storms of life roll in, she draws close to the Lord and finds strength in Him. If everything was stripped away from my mother, she would still find a reason to praise the Lord. She has a quote taped up in her bathroom that I read each time I go over to visit her. It says this,
When we look continually in faith to Jesus, not at our circumstances, we will find a tranquility within, no matter what is happening around us.”
. . . And this little quote is a true reflection of the heart of my mother. Peaceful, even when it doesn’t make sense. She trusts in God to provide for her, to comfort her, to protect her, and to love her unconditionally. Her faith in God gives her hope, joy, and peace even when things don’t make sense.
(pictured above is my mom and dad with their grandchildren)
Beauty for Ashes.
There was a popular song I liked to listen to when I was a kid that makes me think of my mother’s life. It’s called “Beauty for Ashes,” by Crystal Lewis. I wanted to share the song with you. Here are a few of the lyrics from the song:
He gives beauty for ashes,
Strength for fear,
Gladness for mourning,
and
Peace for despair.
This is my mother’s testimony. She saw an example of love, wisdom, and strength in her grandma that she wanted to possess. My great-grandma changed the course of my mom’s life. When my mom talked about her brother who was in jail, she said, “If it weren’t for my grandma, I would probably be in jail too.” Generations will be blessed because my great-grandmother decided to take the time to show God’s love, grace, and mercy to my mother. The legacy she left while she was here on earth has eternity written all over it, and I am forever grateful. The trickle-down effect of my great-grandma’s faithfulness to the Lord has no end. Such a gift!
RESOURCES.
FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE. If you are having a hard time providing for your family, please check out this post here.
ANGER MANAGEMENT. If you are a parent who struggles with anger please take a few minutes to read this excellent article here. It’s so good! If you think you need help, consider seeking out a counselor in your area who can help you.
SPIRITUAL MENTOR. If you are looking for a good Christian mentor, pray and ask God to bring the right person to your mind and into your life. This article might be helpful as well.
ALCOHOL ADDICTION. Is alcohol controlling your life, or the life of someone you know? If you need help with a drinking problem, you can get help here.
(my mom with our kids)
(picture above of my mom and dad)
Pictures at the beach taken by my sister-in-law, Jona Lee Crosariol.
Bonnie Wright says
I loved reading this I also came from a strange family, father was an alcoholic and mother a lot of mental problems plus I’m the oldest of 6 children. I also raised 3 kids alone, but my kids always knew they were first in my life even though we had little money and I was working a lot. So glad you wrote this.
Alisha Hughes says
Some of the strongest people I know are also the ones who have been through the most. God bless you Bonnie! And your children.